Monday, October 10, 2005
Telephone Roulette
I have a good game of telephone for you. It's how I met my first wife.I was going to college. I was dating this girl. Let's call her Satan. Satan and I had been going steady for a few months. Things were solid. No real complaints other than the fact that I had no intentions of getting into a serious relationship. I wasn't playing the field any more. I just didn't want to get pinned into another long term relationship having spent the last five years in one. That's the back story.
So I'm at an art opening for a few of the guys who are in my photo class. We're a pretty small group, the guys in the photo program at OSU. We're maybe 20 guys total. And you're guaranteed to be in class at any given time with at least 10 of them. So you get to know each other pretty well. And, being photographers, we know each other's significant other's pretty well too. Carnally, you might say. Either way you look at it, we all know each other's intimate details.
So I'm at this opening with my new girlfriend and in class and in the darkroom I've been telling them how much I'm digging this chick, but that I really don't want to get hot and heavy with her. I just want it to be casual. On again, off again, maybe. But I'm not moving in with her. And I'm not going to fall head over heels with her.
So we show up at the party and Aaron is hammered. I mean shit-faced with a capital Crap. He doesn't even remember this story. That's how drunk he was. So he's stumbling about. Being ridiculous. And comes around to us and sees us and knows I'm with my new lady and says, "Hey, Kelly! Is this your first wife?" We all got a chuckle. Satan and I laughed. Shrugged it off. Aaron went on his own way.
Five months later we were married.
Three years after that I was freshly divorced and in a full-throttle relationship with my second wife. All because of Aaron and his big fucking mouth.
Incidentally, Aaron's getting married next weekend to his first wife. And the best part about my first wedding was the photography department showing up in Aaron's huge 86 Cadillac El Dorado already drunk and in the middle of the ceremony. It should suffice it to say, that that was the least embarrassing part of the wedding in the end. Satan's mother paid for the wedding on stolen credit cards. We were named co-defendants until she copped a plea. Close one.
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